Pursuer of Dreams

What is your ambition? What do you want to be? What do you want? These are some of the most generic and simple questions we get from people, in school and even during interviews. So simple, yet searching for the answer is so hard. If you were to ask me this when I was 3 years old, I’ll proudly say “I want to become a pilot!” Easy.

I have finally come to a point where I am comfortable to share and have accepted this cycle in my life.

I am fortunate that as a child I’ve already been well-travelled. And since then I have developed this obsession for flying, looking up at the sky whenever an airplane passes by and quizzing inside my head what airline or what aircraft type it is! Yes, I wanted to become a Flight Attendant. The obsession grew all the more when I scored my first job with Philippine Airlines (but, as a Ground Attendant) and watching Gwyneth Paltrow’s movie View from the Top over and over. When I took my leap of faith and moved here in Dubai, I believed that the chances and opportunities of getting in the airline industry are wide open. I felt that my childhood dream is a dream I had to fulfill. True enough, I charged after my dreams. I submitted my application to various Middle East-based airlines (name them!) online, searched for their Open Day schedules and did walk-ins. Until I got a positive response from no-less-than Etihad Airways; hence, my trip to Abu Dhabi. I was extremely happy, thankful, excited (and nervous)! I did nothing but to prepare for the BIG day like reading more about the company, joining online Cabin Crew forums, asking tips and all that stuff . I didn’t want to doubt myself because I know I can and this is what I want. I thought there was no perfect time but NOW! I was convincing myself and even wrote in my personal journal Why I think God has masterplanned Etihad for me… I was so sure.

I arrived in Abu Dhabi the night before the big day. All I brought was a knapsack, my corporate set of stockings, skirt, suit and stilettos and my whole heart. Then… the fateful day came, I got up, dressed up, tied my hair up in a bun and put on my smile. I was READY to win the job that I want! When I arrived at Etihad Training Academy, it felt like entering a whole new world, a world that I was willing to live in, I felt my dream was already within my hands. The energy in the room among my fellow cabin crew aspirants is screaming. I met people from even the most exotic of countries such as Uganda, Ethiopia, South Africa, Algeria, Belarus, Czech Republic, Uzbekistan and found my very own Team Philippines! We were sharing thoughts and small talks that day, motivating one another. I remember the Ugandan guy telling me, “You are so lucky; you are a lucky girl (to be here). (Just) Do your best and God will do the rest.” I couldn’t be more inspired.     

The Recruitment Team from Etihad began presenting themselves, sharing their own success stories and how rewarding their work is. They were very pleasant, professional and passionate people. Their mission statement is giving genuine moments regardless whether you’re on-the-job or simply human nature, an act that comes naturally out of your heart.

This is my passion, to explore the world, encounter people, exchange stories and create genuine moments for life.

We have been told whether we make it or not through this assessment, coming home we should examine ourselves, work to be better and take it as a learning experience. They have become my inspiration. Fast forward through all the formalities and programme, we took the English Test. And after a short time of break and presentation, the part that would turn my life around came. Names were called out randomly, and the group was split in half. I wasn’t included. I didn’t make it. Sorries and Thank Yous were exchanged and we had to say goodbye. They can’t individually explain as to why, but the assurance I got is that we can reapply.

I felt devastated. I felt I was falling apart. Nothing was left of me because I gave it my all. I didn’t want to think myself of as a failure because I know I aced that test and gave my best. The only thing I can think of is that, perhaps, it wasn’t my time yet. I couldn’t find reason and didn’t know where to start anymore. I felt rejection in the worst of odds, a really tough experience in my young life. Whew!

If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you’ll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. – from Factotum

I had to pick myself up again. I held onto Prayers, God and motivational texts that I come across with. I realized that following your dreams is… so… hard. (Ang hirap pala sundin ang mga pangarap mo, noh?!) Nonetheless, I am still extremely grateful to be a part of the assessment, for the people I've met and the experience I wouldn't even have imagined for myself. But, hey, here’s the thing… No way I’m giving up on this! I will guard my dreams. If it will take me 10 times to fall and rise again, I’ll do it. I’ll keep doing it. When my time comes, I’ll take it and I promise it will be MINE and it will be WORTH IT! Remember, nothing worth having ever comes easy. Rough roads are present along the journey, and that's a truth! As painful as it can be, at some point you will have to learn to accept it. When life takes a toll on you, cry, let it all out and take a shot again tomorrow. Take some time to step back and wake-up to the sun ready to face the world again. I believe that chances and opportunities don’t run out. My story is far from over… and so is yours! Our “dream come true” will come ;)

These photos were taken a year apart and at different points of my life. The first was during PAL's inaugural flight to Abu Dhabi and me on duty. I didn't even imagine or plan to reach Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque only a year (months!) later and set my feet in Abu Dhabi on the second photo. See how amazing God is?!

With that, I want to share this wonderful message, take it as a food for thought and soul. I hope it will shed you light as much as it did to me! (P.S. Thank you to @pocketfuel on Instagram for sharing this, I recommend you guys to follow!)

"Do not despise the day of small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin... Zechariah 4:10 When you have big dreams in your heart, the small things can sometimes be frustrating. Especially when they seem to linger for a while... If you're anything like me, I get impatient, and I want my dream NOW! Rush through the beginning, the journey and live in the largeness I know my heart contains. However, when things mature before their time, they often don't have the strength to maintain the level they have achieved prematurely. God rejoices to see the work begin. It's progress that pleases Him. It's said that, by the time a child is 7, they have already formed their inner identity... A person grows most in their life from birth to age 5... So many important things happen in the beginning, in what seems to be smallness. And it's vital that attention is paid and time is taken to make sure growth happens at a steady, maintainable, strengthening pace. Character, strength, knowledge, wisdom are formed along the journey... you don't receive them as a 'first place' prize. They are learnt and ingrained into us from the days we begin... The days where our dreams seems so far away... The days where we have no idea how we're going to get there, but we learn to trust God and His plan and understand that there is honour in beginning something. Just as I take joy in my small children who have years before they reach maturity of an adult, what I sow into them in the beginning, they reap in maturity... It's the same for you. Don't hate the small things and despise the days of starting out. Take your time, pay attention, and find joy in today and the journey to come. ALL great things start from a small seed...
Love you guys, respect to ya"

(Currently I’m with a Real Estate company in Dubai and let’s see how things will unfold this time.)