Friday, July 7, 2017

Birth

Dream Come True: Plitvice Lakes, Croatia 30.06.2017

This post is meant for my Birthday which lies in the middle of the year. 
However, Five months down the road and I have never felt this lost or directionless. The immediate concerns that pop-up are: One - I don't have a job which leads to number Two - I don't receive income. But matters with money don't really matter. I've been holding up with the challenges I'm going through to focus on the obstacles before me. However, I am only human and week after week, I just overcome a puddle of emotions after the other. I've lost and been defeated. It's tragic. It probably is the so-called "Quarter-life Crisis" or whatever. Then this makes it my Second and even harder one.  I've reflected back and realized that I've never stayed too long in one place, job or country. For the last 3 years I've moved from Manila to Dubai, to Doha and now currently in Hamburg. I've had 4 different jobs, one of which included flipping burgers at McDonald's. It's been one helluva ride. 

BUT I also can't deny to myself that coming here is actually a dream come true. For the years I was growing up, I always wondered when would we ever get to come back? Hence, this. I've always wanted to speak more languages and infuse the German language back into my system hence, I ended up with Goethe and Berlitz in my search engines. Every year it was included in my Bucketlist to - learn a new language! Sometimes I think that our beautiful Universe is playing tricks on me and says "Isn't this what you wanted?" And she did give me what I wanted, but probably in a way I never thought it would. So if there is one crucial thing I've learned thus far is to - be careful what you wish for (coz you just might get it). 

Inspiration is everywhere! And I need not to go far when my favourite Kim Jones' shared her inspiring talk here in Morocco. Her topic: Passion. As timely as it is, I am personally facing suffering. We all do. I suffer the consequences of my passions and actions. I suffer being away from my family and everything that I love. When you are passionate about something, you have to suffer for it. But why? Shouldn't what your passionate about make you happy? And it's explained in a very simple lexicon. Because you see - passion in Latin is actually to suffer, to bear. We have to endure despite of unhappiness, fear or pain. No matter how contrasting these ideals are, they always go together. It's a process. From a personal experience - A goal, a dream or a destination bears no meaning without being born. We must suffer for passion. Passion is in the Pursuit.

I do enjoy my Deutschkurs which is running until November. (After which, don't ask me what I'll be doing) It's challenging and could sometimes get intimidating to talk. But with that, I am at the same time making new friends, re-discovering a City I used to live in and re-learning a Speech I used to speak. It has been so far a beautiful experience learning a language and actually living it. And who knows, I might write texts auf Deutsch here soon!

There are times when I want to go back to the days when I was just dreaming and only starting to chase after them. I want to believe that this is a time of re-birth. A time of starting all over again. I'm on the verge of discovering what happens after the dream. What happens after making a dream come true? Then I remember through one of my favourite Disney movies, thanks to Flynn Rider who advised: Well, that's the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream.