Twenty One

Another year older, and I hope wiser, braver, stronger. Gone past the legal age twice my life! (Whew!) Honestly, I am struggling writing this to gather my thoughts and come up grateful for the past and what's present. As I reach my 21st year, I can make a list of many of my firsts! First time celebrating it away from home and family makes me feel changed. Twenty-one gives me the ticket for being independent and responsible of myself too. Something which can be a beauty, but if not handled with care, can turn out a disaster.
 

June 30th fell just in time for Ramadan. It's a whole new experience added to my treasure trove. Hence, my cousins and I decided for a little pre-birthday celebration in my happy place - the beach! I felt like living up to my birth month as a Summer Baby (haha!). I earnestly waited to catch sundown and Jumeirah Beach did not disappoint. I thank God for waking me at every sunrise, letting me witness gorgeous sunsets and getting me to dig my toes in the sand. It kept my faith that I can still do things to make life worth living.
 

On the birth-day, the whole family were together during Iftar and it was such a feast! Just the right warmth and company to spend anyone's special day. They say, at Twenty-one, you are just beginning. You still have a long way to go. You are at the peak of your life, career (and lovelife, to add). And though I might be going through tough Mid-life Crises, "Life is just starting out for you." (this I remind myself often) It's not always happy, but there sure is a lot to be thankful for, ALWAYS! My prayer is that God grant me the strength and wisdom everyday, to live according to His purpose He's set apart for me and guide me all throughout this journey. I am left with excitement for more of many firsts and adventures! And wonder where I might be next time?



Those final sunsets as Twenteen! Where have all the years gone? :)

Real World

 

Moving abroad has always been a dream for me. I know I’ve planned it since growing up because of the travel, adventure and independence I’d want to create for myself. Therefore coming to Dubai (to seek work) was a sign step closer to it! I’ve been warmly welcomed by my Auntie, Uncle and cousins here. And for the first three months you’re like "This is AMAZING!", you enjoy all the perks of travelling, sightseeing and moving to a new place. You’re on a high.

There was also a time where I felt like work wasn’t coming in I’d want to just give up then. And, there is this void and longing for the closest people and familiar places in my life. (hashtag COMFORT ZONE!) I miss my mama and my sister, my friends, my hood, my dog… I miss driving myself around, going out with friends or simply lazing at home. I do miss my life back in the Philippines. 

 

 You know how those things the elders had told you about finally made sense to you now? (I’m very much into the Now, so please hang in there with me.) I’m at that stage where I can say, “oh now I get it!” and affirm that what they have been telling me are cliche but true. Now, I understand when I've been told to enjoy my studies while I’m still on it and now, I (personally) understand the feelings of our kababayan OFWs. Thinking that the kind of freedom from getting away with school is the next greatest thing that can happen to you is absolutely NOT. It is only the beginning of the Hunger Games of your life. (Where your worst enemy can be yourself.) It becomes all the more tough, complicated and uneasy. You will realize that things can actually get worse, there are things in this world you have no control of and crazy things just get crazier!

The only thing that remains is that you have to keep going to survive,because if you stop, how else are you going to get there? Looking back, things were actually much simpler and happier than I thought it was. The Comfort Zone is a nice place, but nothing ever grows there. Change, challenges and brand new things are good if you allow them to. I wouldn't be writing this down if I was incapable to adapt to change. I think this is what any specie should be capable of – adaptation – like how a Chameleon is an exemplar of it. Oh the real world just got REAL to me! So before I start talking about something really out of context, I leave you with Paramore’s song that rubs off the right ring to it: Ain’t it fun living in the real world?

Our house and the car I drive

My Bibigurl, Angel, whom I wish I could give a kiss all day

My sister and bros <3 

Pursuer of Dreams

What is your ambition? What do you want to be? What do you want? These are some of the most generic and simple questions we get from people, in school and even during interviews. So simple, yet searching for the answer is so hard. If you were to ask me this when I was 3 years old, I’ll proudly say “I want to become a pilot!” Easy.

I have finally come to a point where I am comfortable to share and have accepted this cycle in my life.

I am fortunate that as a child I’ve already been well-travelled. And since then I have developed this obsession for flying, looking up at the sky whenever an airplane passes by and quizzing inside my head what airline or what aircraft type it is! Yes, I wanted to become a Flight Attendant. The obsession grew all the more when I scored my first job with Philippine Airlines (but, as a Ground Attendant) and watching Gwyneth Paltrow’s movie View from the Top over and over. When I took my leap of faith and moved here in Dubai, I believed that the chances and opportunities of getting in the airline industry are wide open. I felt that my childhood dream is a dream I had to fulfill. True enough, I charged after my dreams. I submitted my application to various Middle East-based airlines (name them!) online, searched for their Open Day schedules and did walk-ins. Until I got a positive response from no-less-than Etihad Airways; hence, my trip to Abu Dhabi. I was extremely happy, thankful, excited (and nervous)! I did nothing but to prepare for the BIG day like reading more about the company, joining online Cabin Crew forums, asking tips and all that stuff . I didn’t want to doubt myself because I know I can and this is what I want. I thought there was no perfect time but NOW! I was convincing myself and even wrote in my personal journal Why I think God has masterplanned Etihad for me… I was so sure.

I arrived in Abu Dhabi the night before the big day. All I brought was a knapsack, my corporate set of stockings, skirt, suit and stilettos and my whole heart. Then… the fateful day came, I got up, dressed up, tied my hair up in a bun and put on my smile. I was READY to win the job that I want! When I arrived at Etihad Training Academy, it felt like entering a whole new world, a world that I was willing to live in, I felt my dream was already within my hands. The energy in the room among my fellow cabin crew aspirants is screaming. I met people from even the most exotic of countries such as Uganda, Ethiopia, South Africa, Algeria, Belarus, Czech Republic, Uzbekistan and found my very own Team Philippines! We were sharing thoughts and small talks that day, motivating one another. I remember the Ugandan guy telling me, “You are so lucky; you are a lucky girl (to be here). (Just) Do your best and God will do the rest.” I couldn’t be more inspired.     

The Recruitment Team from Etihad began presenting themselves, sharing their own success stories and how rewarding their work is. They were very pleasant, professional and passionate people. Their mission statement is giving genuine moments regardless whether you’re on-the-job or simply human nature, an act that comes naturally out of your heart.

This is my passion, to explore the world, encounter people, exchange stories and create genuine moments for life.

We have been told whether we make it or not through this assessment, coming home we should examine ourselves, work to be better and take it as a learning experience. They have become my inspiration. Fast forward through all the formalities and programme, we took the English Test. And after a short time of break and presentation, the part that would turn my life around came. Names were called out randomly, and the group was split in half. I wasn’t included. I didn’t make it. Sorries and Thank Yous were exchanged and we had to say goodbye. They can’t individually explain as to why, but the assurance I got is that we can reapply.

I felt devastated. I felt I was falling apart. Nothing was left of me because I gave it my all. I didn’t want to think myself of as a failure because I know I aced that test and gave my best. The only thing I can think of is that, perhaps, it wasn’t my time yet. I couldn’t find reason and didn’t know where to start anymore. I felt rejection in the worst of odds, a really tough experience in my young life. Whew!

If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you’ll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. – from Factotum

I had to pick myself up again. I held onto Prayers, God and motivational texts that I come across with. I realized that following your dreams is… so… hard. (Ang hirap pala sundin ang mga pangarap mo, noh?!) Nonetheless, I am still extremely grateful to be a part of the assessment, for the people I've met and the experience I wouldn't even have imagined for myself. But, hey, here’s the thing… No way I’m giving up on this! I will guard my dreams. If it will take me 10 times to fall and rise again, I’ll do it. I’ll keep doing it. When my time comes, I’ll take it and I promise it will be MINE and it will be WORTH IT! Remember, nothing worth having ever comes easy. Rough roads are present along the journey, and that's a truth! As painful as it can be, at some point you will have to learn to accept it. When life takes a toll on you, cry, let it all out and take a shot again tomorrow. Take some time to step back and wake-up to the sun ready to face the world again. I believe that chances and opportunities don’t run out. My story is far from over… and so is yours! Our “dream come true” will come ;)

These photos were taken a year apart and at different points of my life. The first was during PAL's inaugural flight to Abu Dhabi and me on duty. I didn't even imagine or plan to reach Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque only a year (months!) later and set my feet in Abu Dhabi on the second photo. See how amazing God is?!

With that, I want to share this wonderful message, take it as a food for thought and soul. I hope it will shed you light as much as it did to me! (P.S. Thank you to @pocketfuel on Instagram for sharing this, I recommend you guys to follow!)

"Do not despise the day of small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin... Zechariah 4:10 When you have big dreams in your heart, the small things can sometimes be frustrating. Especially when they seem to linger for a while... If you're anything like me, I get impatient, and I want my dream NOW! Rush through the beginning, the journey and live in the largeness I know my heart contains. However, when things mature before their time, they often don't have the strength to maintain the level they have achieved prematurely. God rejoices to see the work begin. It's progress that pleases Him. It's said that, by the time a child is 7, they have already formed their inner identity... A person grows most in their life from birth to age 5... So many important things happen in the beginning, in what seems to be smallness. And it's vital that attention is paid and time is taken to make sure growth happens at a steady, maintainable, strengthening pace. Character, strength, knowledge, wisdom are formed along the journey... you don't receive them as a 'first place' prize. They are learnt and ingrained into us from the days we begin... The days where our dreams seems so far away... The days where we have no idea how we're going to get there, but we learn to trust God and His plan and understand that there is honour in beginning something. Just as I take joy in my small children who have years before they reach maturity of an adult, what I sow into them in the beginning, they reap in maturity... It's the same for you. Don't hate the small things and despise the days of starting out. Take your time, pay attention, and find joy in today and the journey to come. ALL great things start from a small seed...
Love you guys, respect to ya"

(Currently I’m with a Real Estate company in Dubai and let’s see how things will unfold this time.)